I made a new friend recently.
A casual reference to The Lord of the Rings on Twitter generated a response from a Ukrainian soldier. This the cool thing about social media – when would I, a resident of Washington, DC – have the opportunity to talk with a soldier from Ukraine?
He calls the Russians “orcs.” If you’ve read The Lord of the Rings, you’ll get it. If you haven’t read The Lord of the Rings, I don’t know what to say. (The movies are a poor substitute for the books.)
My new friend – I’ll call him B – is on the front lines of the war with Russia. When he talks about killing orcs, he really means killing orcs. He is a true patriot, full of love for his country, and with the courage and drive to defend it. I’ve never had the chance to talk with anyone like him.
B has personal reasons for hating the Russians. He lost his wife and one of his children during the invasion. He calls his late wife his hero. B carries this loss, along with the loss of so many other friends and family, in his heart every day.
But he is remarkably positive – even cheerful.
In watching the news coverage of the war in Ukraine, I have seen so many examples of that incredibly positive attitude. As Ukrainians were forced from their homes to the western part of the country, or to neighbors like Poland, you could observe weariness – but also a fierce determination. And as things settled a bit, you saw smiles.
In a recent conversation with my therapist, he brought up the Ukrainian grandmothers. You see their determination and their positive attitude. Ain’t no Russian going to mess with a Ukrainian grandmother and get away with it.
That observation, in turn, made me think of African American women. Since 1619, it has been African American women who have kept things together, through slavery and forced family separation and rape and Jim Crow and constant microaggressions and the built-in racism that plagues our country to this day.
I am in awe of that strength and courage. I am in awe of B, moving forward despite so much loss. I am in awe of the Ukrainian grandmothers whose refusal to surrender serves as a giant “fuck you” to the Russian soldiers and Vladimir Putin.
And I remain awestruck by the strength of African American women – and more than a little ashamed. In a very real way, they are keeping our very fragile democracy together.
Steel tempered by fire – all of them. And I am grateful.
Wow. As always...you never cease to amaze me. And yes I used always and never in the same sentence because that is just how incredibly bad ass you are!!! Love you sis!!! -An African American Woman and Grandmother